When in Duluth, Go to the Boat Show

Matt Smith,

No matter how bad things get, they can always get worse.
Unless you die. Then things have pretty much hit bottom.

Bad things that happened to me yesterday include, but were not limited to: being in Duluth, teaching a group of completely unresponsive eighth graders about higher education ("any form of schooling that happens after high school"), not eating breakfast, not having ANY tea (AT ALL), my car not starting in the morning -- probably due to the negative-cold lake effect windchill that came directly from Lake Superior and onto my car, my phone calls to AAA which took me on a whirlwind tour of various forms of hold music, transfers from one state to another ("Where are you calling from again?" and "Is that Duluth, MINNESOTA?"), and a recorded man that asked me repeatedly if I knew about the car insurance AAA has to offer and "Did you know that you can now request emergency road side service ONLINE?" (No, Recorded Man. I didn't know. But could you help me, say, RIGHT NOW?), then the heartache that was having to call AAA yet AGAIN to cancel the service because my car started after work.

So, all sum total, yesterday wasn't what I would call a GOOD day. But I kept comparing it to Sivie's day. No. Really. Check it out. It's a really good read, and it'll make you feel better about your life.

Unless, of course, you too have been wrongfully arrested in North Dakota.

I really can't complain, though. Spending a week in Duluth is funny enough to cover all losses. First off, I was working with Tony (if there were two of him, he'd be called "Twony") and that was funny. Secondly, we were in Duluth. Thirdly, our co-workers were staying in a room with a clock/radio that wanted to take over the world. Add that to a hotel employee who constantly asked everyone if they were going to the boat show and you've got something pretty funny.

But, I can't say I'm looking forward to going back to Duluth. With or without the boat show.

"No, no... we won't go,"
Meredith

In Which We Learn that Sitcoms Don't Have to be Good to be Entertaining

Let's be honest.
Everyone had a minor television obsession when they were younger.
(Alright, so I still pretty much have one that's hung on since I was 10. But "Law & Order" doesn't count. I'm talking family-oriented sitcom here.)
I'm only slightly embarrassed to say that mine was TGIF.

I LIVED for TGIF.

At the very beginning -- the first years of "Perfect Strangers" and "Full House." During its adolescent years, in which we experienced that odd modern Brady Bunch thing, "Step By Step"," and learned to love Steve Urkel. Even when it was failing, it was funny. (Case in point: "Alien in the Family." Does anyone REMEMBER that show? I swear it existed.)

So, needless to say, I love this site. It brings joy to my life. And it allows me to entertain others with the plethora of useless knowledge that I have collected in my head over the past 22 years.

I guess TGIF shows my youth.

But you see... I don't care.
I'm just going to go back to watching the "Full House" marathon on Nick at Nite now. Right now, it's the one about the television marathon. There's something very "not-to-be-missed" about watching a television marathon that includes a show about a television marathon.

Or perhaps it's one of the signs that the world is coming to an end.

Jump Up and Down Really Fast

Matt Smith,

There's something to be said about people who work with students in the sixth grade.
I'm still trying to figure out what exactly that is.

I'm working with sixth graders this week. All this week. As in, Monday through Friday. Maybe sixth grade is that precious age where nothing works just right. I've been trying to think back to when I was in the sixth grade.
All I can really remember was that I had bangs.

We're supposed to be getting these kids to "perform" a "theatrical presentation" for the "other classes" in which the students will communicate their views and ideas on bullying prevention. My team lead and I have taken to calling this end-of-the-week sharing session as a Theatrical Cookie. (The idea being, of course, that one can SHARE a cookie.)

Needless to say, bangs or no bangs, I'm having a hard time connecting with these particular kids. Leads me to wonder if -- at some point during the eleventh year of a child's life -- their brains sink to the soles of their feet... and then spends the next 10 years working its way back up. And also, is there some sort of calesthenic exercise that can assist in the process?

Hell.

I don't know.
I'm just the moon.

Luminescently yours,
Meredith

Whoops. I'm Weirder than I Thought.

Somehow, while taking the "State Quiz" (I know, I know... it's really the last quiz, folks... honest), I ended up as the MOON.
Does this worry anyone else?

You're The Moon!

You frequently take small steps, but you think very highly of each and
every one of them. This aloof attitude doesn't begin to reflect how high and mighty you
actually are, though you are able to reflect light onto others when it seems appropriate.
Whether the glass is half full, half empty, waxing pedantic, or even crescent-shaped is
something ever-changing in your perspective. These mood swings at least follow a
consistent cycle, one that makes others believe you have mystical powers. Ultimately,
your head is always in the clouds and you just can't seem to stay grounded.


Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Shocking news, folks...

I AM a mess, Country Quiz. How'd you know?

You're Lebanon!

Your room's a mess.  Your house is a mess.  Heck, your life
is a mess.  It all used to be really beautiful, and someone even compared you to Paris
once, but that's all been replaced with heartache and struggle.  You're small, have been
influenced by outsiders for too long, and don't know what to think about religion.  At
least you smell rather pleasant!
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

Me, Me, Me, Me, Me.

Matt Smith,

Have you ever googled yourself? (I think that's the first time I've ever used "google" as a verb. Should it be capitalized? Is it a "proper verb?" I don't know. There should be rules about these things.)

Well, if you haven't googled yourself -- stop giggling -- you really should give it a shot. Regardless of whether you believe yourself to have the most boring name on the planet, it's amusing to see what comes up.

My friend, Sivie, recently googled herself. (Don't panic; I wasn't there when she did it. That would just be SICK.) Mind you, when every so often I have to ask Sivie again what her name actually MEANS, she breaks out into a rousing chorus of "Do: A deer, a female deer."

Which, when one writes "do" as such (a syllable in solfege), comes off looking just as sick and twisted as "google."

At any rate (2 1/2 percent!), Sivie's a unique-ish name, and she found some unique-ish results. You'll have to visit her Sivilicious blog to read them.

To make a long story a bit longer, Sivie also discovered she was not only Sivie, but THE Sivie. THE Sivie. How awesome is that? (If you don't know, I'll tell you. It's pretty awesome.)

So I did some "googling" of my own. I'll tell you right off the bat (where did that cliche even COME from? Who thought "off the bat" was a good way to describe starting points? It reminds me of "off your rocker." Which is also a good way to describe starting points. But then, that only works if you're crazy.) that if you go poking your nose around the World Wide Web for "Meredith Kay" or "Botticellophelia," you'll inevitably only come up with my blog. Which would be redundant, I think, because you've already seen my blog. This IS my blog.

HOWEVER, if you go searching merely for "Meredith," you'll get a bushel full of other interesting tidbits. For example:

Meredith College - the largest private women's college in the Southeast

Meredith Corporation - a very large media corporation (so heads up other Meredith fans, "www.meredith.com" is already taken)

Radio Free Meredith - A site I like more for the catchy name than the actual content. It's like, "Meredith doesn't like radio. She just won't stand for it. She's radio-free." Like trans fatty acids.

Chez Merde - Twofold funny. One: my sister -- and this is a longer, more drawn-out and intricate story if you were to be talking to me in person, but on a blog, it's short, I guess -- used to (and, okay, still does) call me "Merde." That's French for "shit." Funny #2: the site name actually translates to www.house-of-shit.org. Holy funny, Batman.

But my FAVORITE has to be this site:

The Meredith Music Festival, which is subtitled "The 14th Meredith." It's really worth a gander (which means "look," but also somehow means "male goose;" who comes up with these?). Reading you'll find clever turns of phrase such as:

"Every little last ticket for The Fourteenth Meredith is now sold."
"Remember how you were sitting around at Meredith last year and you all wished you had brought that one pesky thing?"
"...the idea of an 'Indoor Meredith' was floated and then sunk..."
"Meredith of course couldn't possibly have just a beer tent, no, no, no."
"Meredith started in 1991 when 250 friends had a party in the bush, and it grew from there."
"Yes, The Meredith Gift involves full nudity."

And my personal favorite:

"YES, JK IS RUNNING NUDE FROM LANGWARRIN TO MEREDITH."


....Um. Okay....?

Love,
Meredith

Wheeee-hooo! Wheeeee-heeee-heeee-hooooo!

You're One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!

by Ken Kesey

You're crazy. This has led people to attempt to confine you to a safe
place so that you don't pose a danger to yourself or others. You feel like you pose a
great danger to the man (or maybe the woman) or whatever else is keeping you down. But
most of the time, you just end up being observed. Were you crazy before you were
confined?


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Okay.
While I'm fairly sure that this particular test delivers random results, I can't say I'm surprised. I found this "test" while browsing one of my "reader's" blogs... He (or she... I suppose she could be a she) ended up being "The Poisonwood Bible." I was hoping for a classic -- and I guess, one should be careful what one wishes for.
I mean, I AM crazy. Everyone knows it.
But it's part of my charm.

Love,
MereCRAZYdith