Do they even still MAKE Dilly Bars?

Matt Smith:

What follows is an excerpt from my friend Kate's latest e-mail to me regarding the making of my wedding dress, as well as my response to said e-mail.

Kate's e-mail to me:

So.  I've pulled out the sewing machines and after a brief stint sewing winter hats for myself and Matt, I'm getting ready to sew your dress.  I'm kinda excited. :)

So we're going with that halter one, the one that has the fabric going up to the neck, and the waist is all wrinkled (ruched is the word) down to the hipbones.  Then it flairs out into a big ol' hunk of semi-circular cut fabric that will hang & swing all pretty-like...

Would you like any fancy patterning to the waist material (the BCBG one did), or do you just want it to be simply horizontally wrinkled?  And my original plan was to have the ties go around the neck, but I'm not sure if that's a better idea than the straps crossing the back.  I would have them go from the top/back of your neck, cross, and hook onto the dress at the sides.  The waist section will be the same all the way around -- do you want it to dip in the back (show off a little more back) or dip in the front?  You will have a zipper up the back (unless you would rather it on the side).

... Let me know if you have any opinions, otherwise I'll just make something.  You'd probably still like it, but I figured I'd give the option to make the choices yourself.

My response:

Most of what you wrote seems to be in some foreign dressmakers' language, unreadable to the uneducated dresswearer.  I like dresses?  I will wear one at my wedding?  I bet you'll make me look good?  I'm not sure of the correct response.  I do agree that I'll probably still like it.

I like having a zipper.  Yes.  Please include a zipper.  It would be better to have a zipper than to try to "magic" myself into the dress on the day of the actual wedding.  If you could include a "magic zipper," that might even be better.  What would it be able to do, if you included this?

Also, I'd like the dress to be able to securely stay UP so that I will not flash my wedding guests... yourself included.  Any way that you can get that to happen is fine by me.

I like that you said "dip in the back."  Maybe you could do that, because it sounds really cool and reminds me of Dairy Queen.  Maybe you could sew on some Dairy Queen Dilly Bars.  That would be delicious...

Maybe I'm not cut out for this wedding planning thing after all.

- Meredith