Dear Matt Smith,

I feel the need to tell you that you misspelled my name in your last correspondence. It's Meredith -- with three syllables -- not "Merdith" with two, which, while appealling as a name (it reminds me of mermaids and mermen... or, I guess, merpeople), is not actually MY name. My name is Meredith. And that's better than any name I've got. (If you stare at that sentence for a while, it'll go all wonky in your brain. I swear. Give it a shot.)

There are a dozen and some odd reasons why you're getting this e-mail. One of the larger ones is this: I started a Blog. One of the problems with modern-day Blogging (and I guess Blogging is and always has been modern, unless, by some odd turn of chance, some fallen civilization out there invented the Blog and we don't know it. Like the Incas. I bet they were Bloggers) is that, although it's supposedly an online "journal" meant for your own purposes, you're constantly writing to entertain your audience. And that could be ANYONE, right? There could be some drunken, toothless man in a woolly mammoth costume out there right now reading this blog and I wouldn't have a clue. Which is more than scary, 'cause it's the truth.

Ah. You've caught on. "This blog." That's right. This e-mail is indeed a blog. And after I copy and paste it, it'll REALLY be a blog. (Blog's a funny word. It makes me think of "logs." Only with butter. Like a fat, buttered log.) I guess my thought was, if I'm going to blog, and I'm going to inevitably try to be entertaining, I might as well write to the person who entertains me the most, and in turn, makes me entertaining. I glean my entertainment value from you, Matt Smith. (So you'd better hurry up and be famous so I can be famous, too.)

SO... yeah. Now that we've got all that in the open. Every Blog has a purpose. What's my purpose? Huh. Well, that's a darned good question. It reminds me of this question that I've been staring at for weeks on my application for Dallas Theatre Center's directing internship: "What are your long-range goals?" Basically, what's your purpose in life? What's your aim? I'm certain that I'm reading into that a bit much, because -- well, that's what I do best... But all the same, I keep thinking, "I don't have any long-range goals." Or maybe I do, and they're just so long-range that I can't see them yet. Like something that's, y'know, really far away. In the distance. Far. Away. What's worse is, I keep thinking that it's okay for me not to know what my goals are. And it's not. I have to know... if only to fill out that god-foresaken application...

In the meantime, things keep getting darker and lighter and curiouser and curiouser...

Love,
Meredith