Not So ASAP Updates

Dear Matt Smith,

As promised, here are the updates from Texas:

1. Yes, the wet bar IS still awesome. We now have Matt's "Private Bar" sign up on the bar, various liquors, some glassware, and a huge plastic tub of Pub Mix, one of the most delicious snacks that has graced our home to date. (Matt says, "No doubt.")

2. Me, Too is quickly learning the benefits of something called The Cat Door. It is relatively clear plastic, and it swings to and fro as he walks in and out -- much like his kitty man-breasts. He spends a lot of time outdoors now in our fenced backyard, terrorizing dead leaves and licking toads.

3. Good beer. Let's talk about that. There's a lack of good beer in this part of Texas. In the grocery store, we walk past what seems like millions of cases of Budweiser, Miller Lite (someone should tell them that that's not how "light" is spelled, and it's not going to be me), Keystone Light, Natural Light, and other el crappo beers that Texans drink. And if we're lucky, we'll eventually get to something nice... like a delicious IPA or porter or stout. Maybe the same someone who talks to Miller Lite about their spelling inadequacies wouldn't mind sitting down with the Great Nation of Texas and talking with them about their beer selection. Most of Texas needs to stay after class... but the cities of Austin, Dallas, and Shiner are free to go.

4. Boring Professional Development workshops. In fact, I'm not sure why I even capitalized "professional development." It's not worthy of being a proper nouny type thing. I sat for a good while in one of these this afternoon, actually. Ironically, it was a session about blogging. I just chose that particular session because someone said there'd be candy.

5. Hurricane Ike. Maybe you've already heard of it? Not sure, but I think it hit somewhere around Texas. This city called Houston? I think Houston is still there. I'm not trying to make light of the situation by any means, but it missed us completely after all the high wind advisories and tornado warnings -- so we were lucky -- and now I'm able to do things like say, "I'm not trying to make light of the situation."

I think that's about it, really. I've been using this new laptop that my job provided for me, and I think it's slowly draining my ability to be amusing. Or maybe I'm just now noticing that I'm not that amusing. Whatever the reason, it's time now to stop this typing and go back to eating these FlipSides Pretzel Crackers. They're delicious. I highly recommend you drop whatever you're doing and go out and get yourself a box of these things. Simply. Amazing. You want pretzels? You want crackers, too? No more buying one of each thing. These things are the real deal. They're a pretzel AND a cracker. In one. Those elves really know what we want out here. I can tell you that.

Reporting to you live from a relatively new MacBook,

Meredith